Duit Raya

so it goes
a day to receive
packets of duit raya
and so they count
how much each gets

lienn can count numbers
but when  it's too much
she stops counting
and her cousins do that for her
and she learns along the way

But rienn doesn't care


During rare quiet moment
I remember a number
two five five.
and my heart twitch a little.


::::: dienn:::::

Off

it's nice to be off
out of the tense world of WORK
and get down to the real WORLD
of earth, sea and river
of buluh, pulut and palas
of lemang, ketupat and rendang
of pelita raya
lightening each corner of hearts
full of blessings
understanding giving, needing
and forgiving.....

I am again trying
in a familiar setting
of my very own roots
back home, my own kampung.

.... dienn

teman

walau duduk berjarak
kita tetap dekat berdakap
bukan dalam api cinta menyala
tapi dalam api yang masih membara






dienn..............

Eidil Fitri

It's a special day,
rejoicing
over success.
of a month efforts.

Shall success grow
as tall as the tallest mountain

and

Shall family become strong
withstanding endless pressure
as everyone walks on
a never ending journey.

Selamat Hari Raya Eidil Fitri
Maaf Zahir Batin.................


+++++ Dienn++++++++
you think i forget to wish?

the big sister

she had enough training

by the best mentor, ummi

having to put toys back

to where they come from.

It's about repetitive experience

over days and weeks

then experience turns into habits

and that's the way we grow.

and now 

she really behaves like big sister

getting rienn to put toys back

to where they come from.

and I always feel like laughing

as she helps rienn

and keeps saying

adik, simpan balik

nanti sepah

ummi marah

and she says that
in such jovial rhythmic manner
with eyes and lips, wide grinning.

_____dienn_____

Surviving

some live to survive another day

some care less what tomorrow has in store

then we pity why the poor mother

having to work and leave the poor son

and people of different backgrounds

may wonder and curse

as if the son is left to die

Then maternal love 

is caught again 

by the big chain of survival

unless 

people curse less

but care more.

____dienn____

caught in between

many love to scrutinize the technicalities

about reasons and details

about how plane vanished into thin air

and get stuck into the damned theory

of deep indian ocean.

then we were caught again

with mid air explosion

pieces strewn over land

of a different continent

with evidence or not

the story remains as old as history of mankind

about never ending battles

always with economy in mind

greased with utter greed.

That's how the story goes

about being caught in between.

_______dienn_______

zakat fitrah

a taxation

taking bits from everyone

forming a large fund

to be distributed through 8 asnaf

a perfect system

once a year

as we go through fasting

as a process of self awareness,
self cleansing towards communal sustainability

dienn............

bubur lambuk

Yea yea yea

we all grew differently

in different environments

with different family bond

with different exposure

with different experience

Even in puasa month

i feel the differences in food 

when ummi so used to different bubur lambuk.

adding bits of meat

while I am so used to prawns as adds-on

but for the kids

we allow both versions

to be prepared and served

so that they know the intertwined roots

of their own parents.

dienn...................

next: fitrah

aspiration

a hope

a wish

a burning desire

..to get on

..to walk on

..to strive forward

not forgetting to look back

to gauge the distance

to feel the scale of achievement.

____from dienn____

next:  bubur lambuk

a sweet space, a code.

it's a space

free and sweet

it's freedom

of thought

and that lies hidden

from the eyes.

it comes

with a code

created in 2011

as flowers bloomed

in summer of July

when counted

there were 25

they were so sweet

with lovely fragrance

that was beyond this world

and we both bath in scented pool

feeling young and fresh

the night and the rest of nights

So the code needs to be broken

to get to the truth.

____ dienn ____
where is it?

next: aspiration

Sayang

sayang

She can really smile

free and happy
big and wide

Her eyes sparkle
reflecting her innermost soul

with hair tied at the back
allowing a few to show
to stage the perfect beauty
of a young lady.

__ dienn __

Next》 .. a sweet space, a code.

We went out

One of the many days
that ummi shines with joy
as we get on the car
the whole family.

It's shopping day
to join the big crowd
as Raya is nearing
allowing lienn and rienn
learn about celebrating.
getting into the mood of Eid.




,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, dienn





next: sayang

Headache

I would love to give her

the head massage

to clear off migraine

of burning stress
of constant worries

It was quite interesting to note
that she came around at 4.30am
to open up the little window
just maybe the migraine
had all gone
she is completely cured.

__ dienn __

next:  we went out

she learns to decide....

Blue is almost exclusively mine

in cloths i wear

but over recent years i mellow a little bit

allowing ummi to choose concept

for occasions like Raya

and recently as we were flicking through brochures

ummi asked lienn which one she prefer

and surprisingly she said blue......

blue?.... ummi asked

and she just giggled

saying.... macam ayah.

so we all go blues.........

............... dienn.

the love in him.

he remember things so clear

the day you said hello

and for god knows it went deeper

over days and weeks.

what's the chemistry that bind

two hearts staying apart

over seas and mountains so high

and feeling that came along....

how the hearts felt for one another

and shared dreams and reality

and they never hide their true feeling

they shared quiet moments together

into the depth of nights

until dew drops fell on them

through laughters and joy...

and every time he remembered,

he felt the twitch

going into his heart

and he kept saying

the fire never died

the flame keep burning

brightening his true-self

and he had to agree

that the binding love never die

as he keep soothing himself

of the special love

a never dying love.

He remembered the beautiful face

the youthful perfect love

that for countless times

broke to lovely smile

such  beautiful lips

and sensual flowing hair.
and the eyes.....

he still remember the songs

slow and casual into the morning

and she was ever kind

for never once develop into anger

he remember

he remember

for ever....

...................... dienn,

i wanna hold you

we met twice
after all these years
via familiar media

i want you
nearer
sweet as ever

and you
will seek permission
to be away
as the name goes
i got to go
ihavtogo.

oh my darling....





,,,,,,,,, dienn

dream of you

there are times

when i wish to sleep

with the dream of mine

how i wish

the dream to last

until sky begin to light

all the dreams

were sweet

with you my darling
in a binding love
eternal.

............... dienn

she joined once....

we let her had a feel
to go through 8 raka'ats
but she just did Two
and for the rest of time
she ventured around
with peers, her age...

and back home
she would tell everyone
that she had  new friends.

Oh lienn...






..................... dienn

swimming to the shore

yes,
the lovely sound of splash
as we swim against waves
strokes after strokes
to reach to the shore.

yes,

i love the happy face
as we reach and sit in the sand
brushing aside the wet hairs
and touch the lips, forever wet

yes,
i remember how you swim
stretching hands and turning face
always stay afloat to breath
as time goes, with shorter breaths
you never seem to forget
to let me know, that it's almost there
and i keep swimming
to stay afloat
so i wont get drowned.

yes,
i keep watching you darling
your happy face
lovely lips
lovely eyes
everything in loving mood.



.................... dienn.

the cousins came

everybody came
as a ritual of sort
changing place
so families always in accord.

Lienn is not the eldest
but she played the real host
showing cousins her books and toys
and rienn just tag along.

It's the ritual
of getting together
putting them as pals
now and forever.

We were there
wondering how future would fare
for all of them,
our younger generation.




..................... dienn

My Funny Valentine

Alice Fredenham - My Funny Valentine

My funny valentine

Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable 

Unphotographable
Yet youre my favourite work of art
Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak   

Are you smart?
But dont change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day
Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?
But dont you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day

Song by Alice Fredenham

Britain Got Talent

ummi, a new space.

it must be work and commitment

and the pressure of datelines

to keep the company happy and free

the suffering is rather slow

but now taking its toll

and we agree for a leaner pace

for she can still work from home

and get to office as necessary

as agreed only a day a week....

so she can stay at home

to see the two growing

and honestly i think that's never easy

with the abundance of energy

the two willing to let go.

but to her

stay with the two is everything

for me

as long as it helps, let it be....

.................... dienn.

just wonder

i just wonder
if you had switched vocation
from low building to the tallest tower
or you go there for one off assignment.

and what ever you do
feel your own heart beat
firstly put a bit of trust
on adventures once it is set

i know
if it's repetitive routines
it will take you to brink of bore

but dear
lighten up you heart
for a man is watching
with love that never die...


................. dienn

when the sky is wet

i remember such nights
as nights expand beyond sight
of never ending feel

as we count numbers
adding one to another
for easy calculation of joy

and we never let it off
as happiness spreads
to the boundary of time

yes the joy
swimming through the night
holding hands through the waves
as bodies were splashed wet

and as the sky share
the moment of joy
it opens a little
to let go the little drops
of never ending wetness
of sensuous lips
of a wet sky.........






.................... dienn

the lines of beauty.

remember the black dress

once worn in black night
to create distinctiveness
of form and flesh

however long ago
on rewind,  it is still fresh
as if a minute ago
on readiness for a tango

i remember the lines
of straights and curves
as much as i wish to see
as far as she allowed it be

as the curvy line turns
just a little bit more
i will not let it burns
for a sight i adore

as i rewind memories
over depth of nights
blinking a little, testing reality
so it wont shake off, the beauty

of distinctiveness, of form and flesh
of needing hearts
a swim of ecstasy
over love, a never ending feel.







....................... dienn

the large butterflies

these few days, as if celebrating

butterfly

rather large butterflies, came visiting
their wings, very much black and white
their appearance on fasting month, almost perfect
and surprisingly, they came at night.
exciting and fun, to lienn and rienn.

i googled, looking for any match
and yes, i found the name.......
a lovely name, combining both
lienn and eliss in a cute way.

It must be the changing weather,
that these butterflies had to come out
with the rather large wings, they flutter
but rather sad, they emerge just to pass out.

Then i recalled the recent happenings
as Kuala Kangsar mourned the departure of a King
and thousands butterflies came around too
some with gold wings.....





---------------------- dienn

a little pasar malam

near the entrance

of the "new village" of before

as I looked to the left

from Gerik to Ipoh.

The entrance is hooked on

with development tone

a tall building, a new house

getting rid of the old tag

a new village before and aged later
- surprising connection.

and there was that little happening,
a lively pasar malam.

........................ dienn

counting one two three

i love her spirit, in trying out

dates

honestly, i dont expect too much
for lienn to last to the end
as expected, fasting is only half time.

with spirit so high
she will get to the table first
calling everyone quick
and she recites doa with smiling eyes....

as she holds the dates
she will say, one for ayah
one for ummi, one for lienn
and one for adik..........





................... dienn

feeling tired and bored

what can i say, my dear

smile wide be happy

you going up and down
coming home almost at night

it's modern life
as we juggle home and work
so just absorb it all
until nothing is hurting
and we come out strong.

a quiet moment
with the loved ones
will sooth it all
of boredom
of tiresomeness
of sorrow.

there is joy
in hardship
as we achieve goals
one after another.

smile wide, be happy....
i wonder if there is anything i can do
to help a person to draw lines
over the blackest of canvas
to form pictures of happy faces
as we swim through
as we glide through
as we walk through
over a wet pavement..............

come out and watch the sky
so blue at times, so cloudy sometimes
be brave to feel the first drop of rain
and stay a bit longer to let the body wet

Then we will stay safe......

then look at the plants and flowers too
because they talk in silence
for eyes to see, for hearts to feel
open your beautiful lips and smile
forget the tough days, be happy.

and i am always there to see........
dont worry.................................


........................... dienn